Friday, January 06, 2006

Double Feature of Pot and Boobs

To waste more of my life, today I went to the movies. I decided to see two new releases, Hostel and Grandma's Boy. Oddly enough, both films featured gratuitous nudity and pot smoking. Who could ask for more? Oh, both films had interesting cameos. Takashi Miike in Hostel, and Rob Schneider, David Spade, and Kevin Nealon in Grandma's Boy.
Lessons learned from HOSTEL
1. Eastern European women are hot and aching for sex from Americans.
2. Eastern European women, despite wanting the sex, are going to lead you into deep trouble and dismemberment.
3. The Russian Mafia are scary.
4. Amsterdam is all about pot and the red light district.
5. Japanese girls freak out when disfigured.
6. When in a torture chamber, pretend you are not an American.
7. Bubblegum will help you in a pinch.

Ahh.. Amorality in film. I like it.

Grandma's Boy- Anything worth seeing?
1. Kung Fu Monkey
2. Linda Cardenelli really shaking her booty to Salt-n-Pepa's "Push It"
3. Peter Dante - my favorite member of the Sandler gang
4. Kudos to having a male cast with only geeks and nerds.
5. Masturbating to an action figure
6. . . .i think that's it

Additional: This week on HD, they had Into the Night and Scarface, two early films with Michelle Pfeiffer when she was most hot. Her character in Scarface is from Baltimore, and Tony Montana doesn't know where that is!

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